Lost and Found

No, i did not lose anything. What I mean here is my FUTURE, the path that I choose!

I remembered during my first year in university, I was very confident and sure that I want to be in Actuarial field. So, i fought to major in Actuarial in my second year and i got it.

I took my first external paper for actuary (SOA), Exam P (probability) for the first time during the end of my second year in May 2008, if I am not mistaken. The result was known on the spot and I failed. And that was the wake-up call that this route to be an actuary ain't easy.

So I took it again for the second time in July 2008 (1st sem of 3rd year). Ya, I was very stress because i was really scared of failing this paper again. The result? Passed. Yeah!

Without realizing it, I was already in my 3rd year and I only got 1 paper in my hand. Gosh! Time passes by quickly.

Then, I started to feel lost during my 2nd sem of 3rd year. It was the period when i was looking for a company for internship. I can't find any internship placement in Actuarial Department. Not even a call for interview in Insurance company. Majority of my coursemates also couldn't get into Actuarial department either (maybe M'sia was still not yet recovered from the economy melt-d0wn). I ended up doing internship in Deloittle (Big 4) in Indirect Tax department (not related to my course at all).

Why I felt lost? It was because I finally realized that the demand for Actuary in Malaysia is very low. Also, the exams are so damn tough. I started to question myself. Can I do this? Is it the right route for me? Do I really want this? All sorts of questions popped up in my mind.

Still couldn't figure out what I want, I just followed my coursemates to take the 3rd paper, MFE (Financial Economics) in May 2009. Ya, I skipped the 2nd paper, FM (financial Mathematics) first. Result? Passed. Yeah! I think i was really lucky this time (Studied it in the last minutes).

Passing MFE actually helped me in gaining some confident back. And so, i continued to take FM half year later (end of 1st sem of final year). Yup, i admit, I'm the kind that like to study in last minutes. Hehe...Anyway, the result? Ngam ngam passed only.

In one and a half year time, i suddenly got 3 papers in hand but what's next? I really have no idea.

I decided not to take any external paper during my final sem final year because i wanted to enjoy my last university life to the fullest. Haha. Actually, i was not sure i can get into actuarial field or not.

Come what may, i just let fate decides...

p/s: to be continued...too long already and too tired to continue. i actually used 1 week to finish this post. (>.<)