It is supposed to be a happy day

Sighhh...I feel really really down today.

Today is supposed to be an excited day for me. In few hours time, I will be flying back to my home town to attend my grandma's birthday celebration, in which I have been looking forward to.

Today is supposed to be a relax day for me. I just took an exam 2 days ago and I thought I can finally rest for a short while before taking the next exam.

Today is supposed to be a better day for me as I just got over my sadness for not able to perform in my exam which I took 2 days ago. I can't blame anyone or anything as I did not work hard and prepare enough this time and I have expected to fail it. It's my fault that I slack and did not work hard but I still feel sad.

Today is supposed to be a joyful day for me. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am heading back to see my mama today.

Today is supposed to be a self-pampered day. I had plan to reward myself with something expensive for finishing the recent exam marathon and working hard (at work).

And the list go on...

I woke up automatically before 8am today and this is not usual for me as I don't normally woke up that early on Saturday. I haven't had enough sleep for the week and I don't supposed to wake up this early without alarm clock. No, is not biological clock as I don't consistently wake up at 8 this week. I burned midnight oil and woke up rather late every day before my exam. And yesterday, I almost could not wake up to work even with the helped of alarm clock due to tiredness.

Perhaps, my brain knew something. Perhaps, my brain received some dunno-what-wave-signal and asked me to wake up.

It's my habit to check my phone first once I woke up. Checking email, notification, massage and etc. And today is no different.

Finally, I received an email that I have been waiting for so long, for weeks. It's my exam result, which I took in mid of March. This exam is slightly different where I have to do it at home within the given time frame and submit it for grading. It's a very tense exam even you do it at home due to the time limit. I'm not that sad for failing other exam but this exam is really torturing.

Yup, I failed!!! T.T Arghhh...I need to redo everything again. I need to go through the whole stressful process...I...I don't what to do....

Sigh...It's a very expensive exam. I need to re-register and spend U$500 on it. Cannot claim from anywhere. No, I am not sad because of the money actually.

I though I will be ok but no...I feel very sad but not able to cry...I got no one to turn to and don't know how to let it out. I thought I am strong enough but I realize I need a shoulder to cry on sometimes. I..I don't know...

Right. I got few hours more to pack my feelings before I reach my home. I don't know I still can smile today but I have to try. I can't show my sadness in front of my parents and grandma, especially during the her birthday and mother's day celebration.

Ok. Got to go. Rushing to airport. Feeling much better as I write it out...

New Place New Life..New journey Started

It's been awhile since I last updated my blog. My last post had an unfinished ending about my little surgery experience. I did drafted the part 2 but not managed to finish it. Lots of things happened and changed at that period of time. Ya, I was busy.

Well, since I have totally forgot about my feeling at that moment I decided to abandon it. Haha...Whatever, not many people is reading or concern anyway. I wrote to jot down the pieces of my life so that i can remember it.

Oh ya, I have changed job and relocated to Singapore, since mid of April. That's the beginning of my new journey. *Clap clap* * Jumping Up and Down* I remembered, I was excited and nervous at the same time, when moved to the Lion City. Roar~

Relocating to other country should be hard but I am too lucky to have quite a number of friends there. They made me feel warm staying in this new environment by welcoming me, treating me meals and helping me when I need.

Ok, I have now settled my foot down in this new area. I can continue blogging again. (psss, when I am not lazy). Hehe..Stay tune *wink* >.=

My first surgery experience (Part 1)

Fret not! Don't be scared by the word 'surgery', it's just a minor surgery but it is still a surgery. What am I trying to say? *Cough Cough* haha...

Ok, let's get serious. Here's the story:

I just had a minor surgery to remove a cyst 2 days ago (Wed). If you don't know what is a cyst, kindly refer to the article below. Lazy to explain, haha.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-cyst.htm

I know, you wanna ask where did I operated or where is the cyst grown, right?
Ermm, a bit to share to tell, it is at my buttock cheek, the butt area where it comprises of mostly fat. Guess what? When my housemate (a guy) asked, I actually told him that it is at a private part but it is not the part he thinks. He was so fed up with my reply. Lol...just kidding. Well, you can't blame me with the weird answer I gave as I am too shy to tell.

Ok, let's continue with the history of this cyst. I actually found a small hard lump in my butt cheek quite sometime ago. It is at a place where I got accidentally knocked. I just ignored it because I thought it was a bruise that will go away after sometime but it never did. I did not take it seriously because I did not feel uncomfortable. However, I felt a little uneasy lately. It felt like the pain you got due to bruise. I tried to message it as if it is a bruise but it just won't go away. I also felt that it had grown bigger and it turned more and more red.

So what I did then? I went Google for the symptoms. Haha..Google is man's best encyclopaedia. I suspected it was a cyst and I went to see Doctor the next day. My assumption was right.

I went to the medical centre besides my office around 10am ++ with just my name tag and mobile phone, thought that not that serious. The first Doctor told me that a surgery might be needed to remove it and referred me to a surgeon. Before I can do the surgery, Doc said I need to get a guarantee letter from the HR since it was covered by the company.

While waiting for the surgeon, I got to know from my colleague that a few days are needed for HR to issue the letter. So, I thought: Oh, I will be operated a few days later if needed.

I managed to see the surgeon after a long waiting and he confirmed that surgery is necessary. Well, since as expected, I calmly told the surgeon I need to a few days to get the guarantee letter before hand. The surgeon then said he can do it that evening or next morning. Once again, I told him I can't without the letter and I will come back to do it a few days later. While writing something on a paper, the surgeon said that's why I am writing a letter now and you have to remove the cyst soon else it grows bigger day by day. He assured that the nurses will take care of everything for me.

Confused and thought: Ok, maybe I'll come back in the evening and I can go lunch with my colleagues first. I text-ed my colleagues and asked them to wait for me to have lunch. A few minutes later, the nurses called my name and asked a few details. After that she said: "Done, you can admit now, please sign the in-patient admission form. There are only 4-bedded rooms left now."

Shocked! I said: "Huh? now? Can I go back and take something first?"
Nurse: "No. 4 bedded room ok? There is no other room left. Please sign the form."
I signed and asked again: "Can I go back for awhile?"
Nurse: "You can ask your family to pack for you."
Me: "........"

 To be continue....

Taken after the surgery

Is that a Compliment?

Before my boss left office today, he approached our team, carrying his backpack. While discussing about some work related matters with one of my colleague, he suddenly pointed at me and said "She is the most hard working Angel". I "stunted" for awhile and laughed, thinking "really?" Haha..Well, perhaps "yes" for last time because I used to leave office very late. I was the last or last 2 or 3 person to leave office almost everyday. After that, I started to feel a bit guilty as I started to be less "hard-working" recently and leave office quite early since I would like to focus more on my exam. Unlike last time, I would leave even though I can't finish my work because I realized work will NEVER finish.

On second thought, was it a compliment?? Hmm..

On a separate occasion, I THINK I got another compliment this morning. To get a signature from a very "Important" person this morning, I went to a different floor, which I seldom go. The room is located at the very end of the whole office. That means I need to pass by a lot of people's workspaces in order to reach there. Since it is an open office, everyone will look at you when you walk by. That floor is basically occupied by our system vendor, can say mostly programmer, so lots of young guys. On don't know the "n" time I walked by today (went there for a few times since the person is not around), I heard a few guys whispering : "有气质，有气质" (translation: shall I say "有气质" means charismatic or attitude). I think they were talking about me. LOL...I did not turn over and I pretended I did not hear that. Haha...Or may be I am to "perasan" / self-satified...kekeke...

It Stops!

I can't remember the exact date I got this watch but it has been with me for more than 6 years. It was a gift from my dad, no special occasion. Just like anything and everything, it finally came to it's end (for the first time since I owned it). I mean it's battery life. Not today though, actually it has been dead since 12/11/2011, 11.28pm. Erm, exact time should be 11.18pm since I set it to be 10 minutes earlier than the real time. Haha. Oh, it's about 1 month now and I still haven't change it's battery. I am so not used to not wearing a watch whenever I go out as I feel that my hand is so empty. I still  feel like having no sense of time without a watch although I can refer to mobile phone. Ok, that's all my watch-less feeling. ".)

Change 1.0

Lately, i have been thinking deeply about myself, my personality, my taste, my everything, Yes, i am self-reflecting. And, i realized i have changed a lot in these 1 year + time.

Insomnia...again

Aikss...i'm having insomnia for 3 consecutive days...not joking, it has been 3 days and i'm not sure it will continue today! T.T Dark circle is getting darker and obvious...

Although today is a public holiday (Deepavali), i couldn't sleep well last night. Not sure why, I think most probably is due to work stress. I'm going to have my consecutive leaves and going outstation very soon but I can't feel the joy yet. I just can't go off with peace of mind.

To compensate myself for working late and hard last few days, I treat myself with my favourite breakfast, Subway! Yummy...

Chicken Slice + Egg with a cup of white coffee

trUst

A lot of people said I'm naive, just because i choose to trust people.

Ya, I always choose to trust the people around me. I've never think of people betraying me or trapping me. Or maybe I'm very lucky to have trust-able people around me?

I know, i know. There are all sorts of people in this world. You may not know what others think, what're their motives. But, I am not as naive as people think of me. It's just that i rather choose to trust people than thinking how people take advantage on me.

My thinking is quite simple: As long as i treat people nicely, others will also treat me nicely. I might be wrong but I really hope so. Anyway, I got nothing to loose.

I was born this way!!

Nobody in this world is perfect. Neither you nor I.

Yes, I have lots weaknesses and flaws. So do you!

I am not pretty or have a perfect body.

I am indecisive.

I am slow when come to doing things.

I am a careless person who always make mistakes.

I am moody sometimes.

I am lazy.

I am .....

But hey, that's me. Those weaknesses and flaws make me who I am.

I accept my weaknesses, my flaws and myself. I am who I am.

Quote from Lady Gaga's "Born this way": I am beautiful in my way cause god makes no mistake...I am on the right track, Baby... I was BORN THIS WAY!

Just be yourself, accept who you are! And, you will find yourself much more happier.

Mid twenties / Quarter life crisis?

I have been feeling miserable and depress lately, ever since a few hours before my birthday last week. Nothing interest me. I find my life meaningless. I don't know what i want in my life. I feel lost. I just don't know why. My world is so grey....Arghhh!

I suspect i'm having quarter life crisis!!

According to Wikipedia, the characteristic of quarter life crisis may include:

• confronting one's own mortality [Nope]
• insecurity concerning ability to love oneself, let alone another person [check]
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments [check]
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships [a little bit]
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy [romantic relationships perhaps...haha]
• disappointment with one's job [check]
• nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life [Sometimes]
• tendency to hold stronger opinions [Hmmm...]
• boredom with social interactions [check]
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends [high school friends maybe]
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living) [check, well still enough but definitely no extra]
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies [check, but don't worry, no suicidal tendencies]
• desire to have children [Nonono..not so fast]
• a sense that others are doing better than oneself [check]
• frustration with social skills [sometimes]

Hmm..mostly check, I guess i am...

Little Surprise ^.^

Reluctantly, i went to work this morning as I was having Tuesday Blue. No Monday Blue this week because i took leave to rest at home for my birthday.

I was late as usual, but i still walked lazily towards my workstation. As i opened my drawer, i saw an unfamiliar paper bag sitting in the place where i normally keep my bag. I explored it curiously and saw a note inside. Oh, it was a birthday gift from my manager. =] I was really surprise because he is my new manager, whom i have only known for less than 2 months.

Well, it was not about the gift that made me happy but the 'heart' that touched me. It made my day.

By the way, I feel really lucky and glad that i always meet with good, kind and friendly supervisors.

Life. Ups and DOWNs

Life is hard. Ups and downs. I'm at the down side now.

Having a lot of stress recently.

Last week, i received a really bad news from home. Unexpected thing just happened. The worst thing was I could not do anything to help out.

Yesterday was really a bad day for me. Everything i did was not right. I kept it cool.

And today? Not smooth either. But i still smile and talked nicely to people.

I have been staying positive all this while. Just laugh it off and forget about it. Be optimistic.

But sometimes, it is very hard to stay cool all the time.

I can't take it anymore. I am feeling down now. Feel like getting a warm big hug. Any free hugs? >.<

How is my tomorrow like? I hope it is a good one but i don't think so.

Anyway, life goes on. Cheers! Stay happy always!

Holiday Mood

Today is my last working day in year of Tiger. I'm going to have long CNY holiday start from tomorrow. ^^

Needless to say, works piled up as i was away for training for 2 days. I really felt stress and scared to read my emails. ><>

Since i cant finish them, i told myself to focus on my own task, which i must get it done before going on leave, and just ignore others. Learn to let go~ Fong shau, fong hoi sor yau....

And i did it, I reached home before the sky turn dark. ^^ Damn damn damn happy!

Oh ya, first time book bus ticket online (they just updated their website). Not only can avoid the hassle at the counter but also cheaper. 10% discount for online purchase! Hehe ^^

Actually i don't have any CNY mood but i'm glad that i can have a long holiday and i can go back to be with my family.

Happy Rabbit Year in advance! ^^

Life.Imbalance

Ya, I know. I know most of my posts were emo and down but i cant help it. And yet, this will be another moody post again. Please allow me to release it here ><

I admit that i'm kinda moody recently. It is quite serious as the level of emo-ness goes to the point that i can't control my feeling. Exploding, period.

I seldom get so moody or simply show my moodiness to people around me. But not for this time, "bad mood" is clearly written on face because someone told be that my face is really "black". I think some others might not dare to tell me. Haha..

Why?

Thinking of all the issue,work load and timeline, i'm really stress out. I am really exhausted, mentally.

You know what, my working hours per week is more than the total no of hour i slept per week. Not only work till very late every day, but i need to go back to work on weekend and public holiday. And, i broke my own OT record last friday by working till 1.20am. Although i'm the last one to leave, i don't even feel scared as i was too focus on work.

You may say a lot of people is just like me, but i have reached my limit.

I really felt upset last sunday because i couldn't bring my sister out that day. She purposely came from so far to find me, to hang out and see me. I felt so bad to take her to office as she didn't want to go out or stay home alone. :( I'm really really sorry.

My life is seriously imbalance. Where is my life? AmLife (my company) ><

I know it reaches my limit, so i decided not to go to office this weekend no matter what. There is a saying "To rest is to prepare for a longer journey".

Resting my mind over the weekend and preparing to fight again on Monday! Fighting!

p/s: Photo was taken in last year Oct, too bored while studying. Haha...

Quiet moment

Time passes by as quick as a wink, it's end of september now. It means that MLC exam is around the corner.

Having working for more than 3 months, means I'm no longer new. Needless to say, work load increases day by day. On average, i leave company everyday at 8pm and reach home around 9pm after having dinner. Study? Nah, too tired.

In order to on leave and go back hometown without worry, i worked till 10pm++ to clear my outstanding tasks to meet deadline in 2 weeks ago.

And last friday, i worked till 11pm++ for the first time with one of my colleague. Both of us held a big responsibility on checking our system before signing off to use it for real. The whole floor just left us to 2 girls when we left. What an experience huh! The sad part was missing a gathering dinner with my friends.

Count-downing to my exam on 2nd Nov, I just have 37 days left and i got more than 50 chapters in total to cover. Will i able to finish it? Ya, I'm seriously short of time.

I think i'm really tired and stress out.

As you can see that i'm starting to disappear from Facebook and MSN. Also, do not join outing with friends this week. Feeling like hiding myself alone at home and don't feel like talking and going out. I am totally different from normal me who likes to laugh and hang out with friends.

I guess i need some quiet time, to rest properly. I'll be inactive for the moment.

Working and studying at the same time is really tiring. I really need to rejuvenate myself in order to walk further.

Hope that this quiet moment of me will pass through soon and i won't lose myself.

I'll be back, soon!

Green Apple

Green apple always gives people the impression of its sourness. Ya, it's true that we only taste its sourness at first bite, but actually there is a slight sweetness after the sourness. So not much people really remember or realize its sweetness as the sourness is much more stronger.

Don't you think that life is like a green apple? There is always ups and down in our life. Everyone will taste the 'sourness' at some point of time and the only difference is how much or how 'strong' you got. Like green apple, most people just remember the sour part. I agree that those unhappy moments will always be a part of our memories but have you ever think that how can we taste the sweetness if we never taste the sourness or bitterness. Do you agree? Strangely, people usually think of those unhappy part and forget about the 'sweetness' after getting over those 'sourness'.

As for me, i realized a lot of people around me find me feeling happy all the time. May be i always hehe haha and laugh in front of people. I also don't know why i feel happy in front of people all the time. Is that really me? Yes, i always laugh from my heart out without faking it. It's not like i never have a dull moment in my life but frankly i went through quite a lot also. Not to say a lot because others' situation might be far more worst than me. The point is I have tasted the sourness in my life. So what? I just put it behind and move on to taste the sweetness.

So why bring along the sourness all the time and show your sour face to people around you? It's not only make you feel dull but also make people around you to feel unhappy. True? One way to get over the sourness is to be optimistic. Everything that is happened should have a reason behind it. Just look at the bright side and get over it. Don't just stop there and start blaming. You will feel much more happier living that way.

Life is short. I want to enjoy my every moment of life as we will never know what will happen next. So far I am doing great, enjoying my new working life. I really hope i can spread my happiness to people around me.

Life is like a green apple. You can only taste the sweetness after the sourness. Do you agree? Food for thought!

The Last Walk

I can't remember how long has it been for me to walk to Institute Science Mathematics (ISM), my faculty from University Tower, my rented house.

I guess it's been about a year. Thanks to my lengzai course mates for fetching us, the girls to class and back home.

I moved out from hostel in second year of my university life. I have always been walk to class with my friends since we just live nearby our university. I think we need about 20 minutes to reach class. We always carry along an umbrella to 'shield' off the hot sun or rain.

Sometimes i would walk alone to class because my friends and I took different course. I would always listen to my MP3 if i walk alone. Also, i would stop by the main library once in awhile to read newspaper or borrow books. I stopped walking alone when Hooi Ling (a.k.a woman) joined me.

Actually, my course mate, Hooi Ling did not need to walk because her boyfriend can fetch her by motorcycle. However, i think because she doesn't want me to walk alone and so she accompanied me to walk. I can say she's really a good friend because she likes to help people around her. I appreciate this friendship a lot.

As we get to know our course mates better, the lesser we need to walk to class. And we officially no need to walk again since our first semester of our final year (July, 2009).

In order to meet with my academic advisor, Dr. Omar Mohd Rijal to sign my report card and a form (to be submitted to the dean office), I WALK to ISM today.

My attempts to meet him have failed for a few times. So i will grab any chance to meet him.

While having my breakfast at around 10.30am, i saw his email to meet him today from 11am-12pm. It's kind of rush and i was thinking of asking someone to fetch me there. Then i finally decided to walk to ISM since it'll be the last time for me.

It was very hot at 11am. Carrying an umbrella and listening to my MP3, i started to walk. About 5 minutes later, i realized i forgot to bring my purse and student card. And so, i walked back. After that, i started to walk again.

I reached there about 11.30am and i was all sweat. It's really hot. So, I wiped away the sweat with tissues and prepared myself to see him.

I was very happy because his room light was on (finally). Knock! knock! No one answered me. Isshhhh! I was very 'pekchek' at that moment. Then i left a message on his door asking him to sms me when he is around. I went to computer lab to online and enjoyed the air-conditional while waiting for him.

By the time we have done with the meeting, the dean office has closed for lunch. So i just walked back home. Then, i passed by library and walked in. It's been a long time since i last stepped in the library. It changed a lot and got better. I went to newspaper section and read The Star. Finished it about an hour later and try to pay for the 20 cents i owed to the library because of returning a book late years ago. But failed because i don't have coins and they also don't have change. Aiksss! Have to go again next time.

Then i started my journey to walk back. But, it started to rain. Luckily it's not that heavy and no wind. Carrying my umbrella, i walked slowly and enjoyed the 'rain walk' while listening to my MP3.

Maybe it looks like a bad day for me but i don't think so. I managed to experience a walk under a hot sun and rain together in today's walk for 1 last time like i used to be.

I think it as a symbol of my ending journey of university life. I am going to start a new chapter of life soon. Hope it'll be a good new beginning for me.

p/s: my post is getting longer and longer. My blog has become my diary recently. Too many thoughts in my mind. I wanna thank Dr. Omar also. I mean it although i felt 'pekchek' awhile. Haha. He is a good person actually.

Before the Prom Night

Finally, i've done my assignment and presentation. No more test in UM.

Actually, i should be very free and relax. Get more sleep and wait for our first ever and last highly anticipated prom night to come.

But that is not the case.

I fell extremely tired since saturday (the presentation day). Really exhausted.

What's my job for the prom night?

List and plan out all songs that to be played during our prom night with Kityeng (Jayin).

Songs for registration slot, dinner, dance/game, gift exchange, announcing prom king and queen, songs to be sing together and ending. Most difficult part is to search for song that most people know to be sung together.

Initially, that's my only job for the night but i'm too kaypo. Haha.

Ok, let's see what have i done.

3-4-2010 (Saturday):

I accompanied the cards making group ( Tian Chyr and Hooi Ling) to buy the materials needed after our presentation. The cards will be our door gift for the night. They already got a sample to follow but the materials are too expensive and hard to find. Hence, i gave some suggestions and end up being a member of that groups. LOL. We've spent about 5 to 6 hours that day. Bought a new slipper because cannot stand walking with high heels.

4-4-2010 (Sunday):

I try to design the words to be used in the cards, ie 'Glamorous get Together' and 'autograph' in the afternoon. Then we started to make the cards at 11pm++ and we ended at 4am. I cut the cards till my thumb numbed. Damn tired.

5-4-2010 (Monday):

I had a bad sleep in the previous day. Woke up a few times in the middle and dreamt about something related to the cards but cant remember anymore. LOL. Then Neo brought me and HL to print the words that i've designed in the afternoon. Wrote my profile for the class booklet after that. Discussed the song list with Jayin at night. Don't know started from what time till 3am.

6-4-2010 (Tuesday):

Went to class in the morning. Can't remember what i did in the afternoon. Haha. Oh! i knew already. I went to shopping with Voon and Chee. LOL. Try to list out and arrange the songs that we've chosen in the previous day at night. There is some changes in the schedule, so I asked some opinion from Jayin. She got test on the next day, so i felt really paiseh to disturb her. Slept at around 3.30am that day.

7-4-2010 (Wednesday):

Continued to make our cards at 1pm. Chee came to help today. We did till 5.30pm. Really exhausted. Had a break and went to dinner with course mates. Felt sad because cant join them to watch movie. I got the responsibility to finish up the cards. Went back and started to make cards at 9pm. Voon also came to help out and cooked soup for us as supper. Finally finished the cards at 1am. Felt happy and satisfied. Yeah!

8-4-2010 (Thursday):

Writing this post now. Haha. I'll attend the last lecture in the morning later. It will be my last class in UM. Don't know will go where after that. I think will have dinner with course mates at night.

9-4-2010 (Friday):

OMG! It's the day. Our prom night day. The theme of our night: Glamorous get-together. I think it will be an unforgettable night. *Wink*

Although, I'm really tired after doing all those things for the prom night, i feel very happy because i did contribute something for our class. Feeling really satisfy.

We put a lot of efforts to make the cards. It looks simple but it's not easy to make it. So, I really really hope everyone will like it.^^

PHOBIA

Everyone has phobia.

Some is afraid of animals such as cats (Ailurophobia), dogs (Cynophobia), mice (Musophobia) and etc.

Some is afraid of heights (Acrophobia), confined spaces (Claustrophobia)....

Some is afraid of blood (Hemophobia)

Some is afraid of ?????

There are really uncountable types of phobia.

My biggest fear?

OMG, it's public speaking (Glossophobia).

And I'm going to have presentation on saturday.

I never felt so stress because this will be the most formal and serious presentation i ever have.

It's not that i never have a presentation before, but often, the past presentation is not that important.

The importance i meant here is the mark allocation for the assignment.

This time the presentation part holds 65% of the total marks. It's very heavy.

I have been complained that i cant sleep well last few days and i suspect that this is all due to the pricing assignment.

Although it is a group assignment, but i felt really stress doing it because i'm not familiar with the topic.

I really can't sleep well before i completed my part of the assignment as the deadline is approaching. Once i completed my part and saw our assignment is somehow completed, i felt a little bit relief and can only sleep well.

I'm really afraid of public speaking. The symptoms? Palpitation, dry mouth, tense voice and etc.

When i feel nervous, i tend to forget the things that i want to present. Really scary...arghhh!

Help me please!!!

Or maybe wish me good luck...

Some interesting phobias to share here:

What do you call a fear of having a phobia?

Phobophobia...^^

What do you call a fear of number 666?

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.....a very very long word...geng!

Zzzzzzzz *I wanna sleep tight* zzzzzzzZ

It has been 3 consecutive days...

I did not have a good sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night for a few times.

As a result, i could not have a deep sleep during night time and would feel tired during day time.

On average, i only slept for less than 6 hours per day this week.

Why why why???

I'm not sure why...

Could it be i am too stress?

But I did not feel stress.

Could it be i feel stress unconsciously?

I have no idea...

Or may be there are too much matters lingering in my mind that I'm trying to avoid thinking about them?

Arhhh! I don't know... Don't want to think about it.

Oh! I know one thing that is really bothering me now is I'm uncertain about my future.

I'm graduating in less than 2 months time.

What have i achieve?? I can't even answer myself.

What kind of job i want? Can i get a good job? Should i stay in KL?

?????????????????????

Arrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Can i sleep soundly tonight???