Lost and Found

No, i did not lose anything. What I mean here is my FUTURE, the path that I choose!

I remembered during my first year in university, I was very confident and sure that I want to be in Actuarial field. So, i fought to major in Actuarial in my second year and i got it.

I took my first external paper for actuary (SOA), Exam P (probability) for the first time during the end of my second year in May 2008, if I am not mistaken. The result was known on the spot and I failed. And that was the wake-up call that this route to be an actuary ain't easy.

So I took it again for the second time in July 2008 (1st sem of 3rd year). Ya, I was very stress because i was really scared of failing this paper again. The result? Passed. Yeah!

Without realizing it, I was already in my 3rd year and I only got 1 paper in my hand. Gosh! Time passes by quickly.

Then, I started to feel lost during my 2nd sem of 3rd year. It was the period when i was looking for a company for internship. I can't find any internship placement in Actuarial Department. Not even a call for interview in Insurance company. Majority of my coursemates also couldn't get into Actuarial department either (maybe M'sia was still not yet recovered from the economy melt-d0wn). I ended up doing internship in Deloittle (Big 4) in Indirect Tax department (not related to my course at all).

Why I felt lost? It was because I finally realized that the demand for Actuary in Malaysia is very low. Also, the exams are so damn tough. I started to question myself. Can I do this? Is it the right route for me? Do I really want this? All sorts of questions popped up in my mind.

Still couldn't figure out what I want, I just followed my coursemates to take the 3rd paper, MFE (Financial Economics) in May 2009. Ya, I skipped the 2nd paper, FM (financial Mathematics) first. Result? Passed. Yeah! I think i was really lucky this time (Studied it in the last minutes).

Passing MFE actually helped me in gaining some confident back. And so, i continued to take FM half year later (end of 1st sem of final year). Yup, i admit, I'm the kind that like to study in last minutes. Hehe...Anyway, the result? Ngam ngam passed only.

In one and a half year time, i suddenly got 3 papers in hand but what's next? I really have no idea.

I decided not to take any external paper during my final sem final year because i wanted to enjoy my last university life to the fullest. Haha. Actually, i was not sure i can get into actuarial field or not.

Come what may, i just let fate decides...

p/s: to be continued...too long already and too tired to continue. i actually used 1 week to finish this post. (>.<)

Lizard, a cat's toy?

Have you ever seen a cat playing with a cicak?? Actually cannot say playing, it is torturing to be exact. Haha...

Today, i went to my dad groceries shop to help out. While i sat down and rest, i saw 1 of my dad's cat (2 cats in the shop) carrying something in her mouth. I was curious and i tried to find out what is it. Then i saw something moving on the floor not far from the cat.

OMG! It's a lizard's tail. It, the tail, moved for awhile only stopped. So geli~~

In the cat's mouth is a tail-less cicak. I thought the cicak has dead but no. The cicak still can move when the cat dropped it on the floor.

How the cat tortured the cicak?? Haha..

The cat would drop the cicak on the floor, let it ran away but then caught it back again immediately and held it in her mouth. She repeated it again and again. Naughty cat!! Don't worry, she won't eat it.

And so, i just sat there and watched.

Suddenly, the cicak ran to my direction. In no time, i lifted up my leg quickly and screamed. I was very shock. This was the first time i screamed my heart out because of a lizard. Now only i realized i am really afraid of lizard.

The cat came to rescue. Haha. She jumped and caught it and walked away slowly. So funny. She was having a lot of fun torturing the cicak.

After awhile, the cat walked back carrying the tail-less cicak in her mouth. She dropped the cicak on the floor again and let it ran. I quickly moved away from the cat.

However, the cicak was no longer alive. The cat waited the cicak to run and prepared to catch it. She still had fun playing with it and carrying it around with her mouth eventhough it was dead.

My dad tried to take away the cicak from her but she just won't let go. She loved the cicak so much. Haha...By chance, my dad got the cicak and throwed it away. No toy to play now, she walked slowly to her food and enjoyed it.

The end of the show.

p/s: this cat not only can catch mouse, but also cockroaches, some bugs and lizards. Good job!